Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Learnings on 1+ Year Long Distance

Last year I talked about surviving a long distance relationship. I'm still in one and there's a lot more that I've learned. We've know been doing long distance for over a year straight. We originally started off at 2,000+ mi apart and now we are at 200+ miles. We're coming up on our 3 year anniversary and counting the major breaks that we've been a part (a least 1 month +), we've know been apart more than we've been together. I'm not going to lie, it sucks.

Like I said in my last post, most of the people I had known that did long distance, had a set time in mind whether that be a semester or a year. We currently still don't know how much longer we will be apart and I would have to say that that is the hardest part.

I remember talking to Matt about the possibility of doing long distance in college and about how I didn't want to if we could avoid it. I told him that the problem with us being apart, is that so far in our relationship, we've been together and grown together. What will happen when we do long distance is that we will begin to grow apart and it is much harder to grow back together, especially if its been a significant amount of time. That is definitely what's happened. We live in two different towns in two different jobs. It's hard leaving and starting over in a new place. We're growing as people. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it won't be easy when we are trying to combine our lives.

I would say that the biggest thing that you learn in a long distance relationship is the other person's priorities. People may say that their priorities are family, education, relationships, ect. but its not until they are faced with being apart from those "priorities" that you know if you actually are one. Matt travels down 3 hours each way to see me a few times per month which I really appreciate. I plan our weekend visits and try to find things that he will enjoy during his time visiting.

It does get to a point where you're just done. I've been feeling closer and closer to that and we are trying to figure out what that means for us. As much as you love someone and want to be with them, if you can't work it out to be in the same place, you may never work it out. I still hope that we will, but its getting more and more frustrating. I definitely don't feel like there is a rhythm to long distance. It really never gets easier and the goodbyes definitely get harder.

If you're faced with doing long distance, I would only recommend it if you have a set time in mind or make a commitment with each other to be done with long distance within a certain time period. Living in the unknown is stressful. I made a major move 6 months ago for our relationship and I guess we have to see what the next move will be. There has to be give and take.

Matt and I have had several tests of our relationship whether that be long distance, traveling together, traveling together abroad and making it through college together. Long distance has been by far the hardest test, but the one that I have learned the most from about us as a couple and also about myself.

1 comment:

  1. Katy, I really appreciate your honesty in this quote. Long distance relationships are really hard, and I truly admire your and Matt's commitment and that you're willing to share your journey together with the blogosphere. I really wish the best for both of you and hope that you two can find a middle-ground that makes you both really happy.