Monday, December 7, 2015

Radio Silence

radio silence

Things have been pretty quiet here on the blog lately. My posting has always fluctuated based on my schedule, but this break was different. I have been pretty busy, but I've had time I could squeeze in a post or two. And I've traveled and done things that I could write about. But my heart has been feeling tender. 

November was a hard month. I pushed myself and came too close to the edge. I've talked about my struggle with taking care of myself in the past. I'm a chronic perfectionist with a busyness problem. I know its probably one of those things that I'm going to have to work on throughout my life. 

Being a few years out of school, I still feel like I'm in that semester loop. I go go go and push push push as if there's a finals week and break in sight. But guess what — I'm an adult with limited vacation time and I'm not just given a month off after a long project or hard week to rest and recuperate. When you work, every week has deadlines and you have to show up and are expected to give yourself everyday. I'm struggling to balance the fact that I have to do this day in and day out 365 a year. I know its possible, I just need to find my personal balance because giving 110% like I'm used to can't last forever.

And besides the pressure and expectations I put on myself, I feel like its been a really hard month for the world. I've seen, read and heard things that I don't want to think about happening to anyone. I kept a gratitude journal in November and I'm really glad I did. Without noticing the small gifts in my everyday, it would have been very easy to get bogged down in the mess of our world right now. 

All of this has made me feel very tender. I've pulled back here and on social media as I try to sort through all the mess and get some perspective. I really want to be able to define my priorities in 2016 so I can put more focus in time to the things that really matter. Life's been throwing some curveballs and feels a lot like I'm making the song and dance up as I go along. I'm kind of fumbling here and there and hoping I hit the moves at the right time. 

I'll still be posting, but only if its something that I feel needs to be said or something that I feel motivated to share. I started this blog as something fun to do and I want to keep the fun in it.

I pray you guys have a blessed December. I'm currently doing the SheReadsTruth Advent devotional and its been a great check-in everday. 

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